Simpsons Friday

With the tragic case in Florida and tempers flaring, I think some comic relief is in order. Just a few quotes from the Simpsons on the subject of religion.

Homer: No offense Apu, but when they're handing out religions you must be out taking a whizz.
Apu: Mr. Simpson, pay for your purchases and get out...and come again.

Homer: Lisa, if the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, it's that girls should stick to girls sports, such as hot oil wrestling and foxy boxing and such and such.

Marge: Homer, you don't have to pray outloud.
Homer: But he's way the hell up there!

Homer: The lesson is: Our God is vengeful! O spiteful one, show me who to smite and they shall be smoten.

Homer: Lisa, you're a Buddhist, so you believe in reincarnation. Eventually, Snowball will be reborn as a higher lifeform... like a snowman.

Ned Flanders: They've broken every commandment except one.
Carl: Hey Lenny, covet some chili fries?
Lenny: You bet.
Ned Flanders: That's it. The whole shebang.

Bart: Mom, can we go Catholic so we can get communion wafers and booze?

Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible.
Lisa: Really? Where?
Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.

Homer: "Dear Lord: The gods have been good to me. For the first time in my life, everything is absolutely perfect just the way it is. So here's the deal: You freeze everything the way it is, and I won't ask for anything more. If that is OK, please give me absolutely no sign. OK, deal. In gratitude, I present you this offering of cookies and milk. If you want me to eat them for you, give me no sign. Thy will be done."

Homer: I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to Hell?

Bart: Christmas is a time when people of all religions come together to worship Jesus Christ.