Simpsons Friday

OK, it's April, it's Friday, so here are a few Simpsons quotes:

Kent Brockman: Top o' the mornin' to ye on this gray, drizzly afternoon. Kent O' Brockman live on Main Street, where today [St. Patty's Day], everyone is a little bit Irish! Eh-heh, everyone except, of course, for the gays and Italians.

Marge: Homer, the plant called. They said if you don't show up tomorrow don't bother showing up on Monday.
Homer: Woo-hoo. Four-day weekend.

Homer: A woman is a lot like a refrigerator. 6 feet tall, 300 pounds ... it makes ice.

Bart: I smell a museum.
Homer: Yeah, good things don't end with 'eum,' they end with 'mania' or 'teria.'

Mr. Burns: I could crush him like an ant. But it would be too easy. No, revenge is a dish best served cold. I'll bide my time until ... Oh, what the hell. I'll just crush him like an ant.

Homer: Remember that postcard Grandpa sent us from Florida of that Alligator biting that woman's bottom? That's right, we all thought it was hilarious. But, it turns out we were wrong. That alligator was sexually harrassing that woman.

Chief Wiggum: Can't you people take the law into your own hands? I mean, we can't be policing the entire city!

Homer: How could you?! Haven't you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain Whatshisname? We live in a society of laws! Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well, I didn't hear anybody laughing, did you? Except at that guy who made sound effects. Makes sound effects and laughs. Where was I? Oh yeah! Stay out of my booze.