Simpsons Friday

Today's news seems to be mostly rehash - Durbin is a traitor, another person died in Iraq, blah blah,...so I figured I'd just go with some Simpsons quotes instead.

Teacher: Alright, here are your exams. 50 questions. True or false.
Homer: True.
Teacher: Homer, I was just describing the test.
Homer: True.
Teacher: Look, Homer, just take the test and you'll do fine.
Homer: False.

Apu: Yes, yes, I know the procedure for armed robbery. I do work in a convenience store, you know.

Homer: All right, let's not panic. I'll make the money by selling one of my livers. I can get by with one.

Marge: Please. You have to protect my husband.
Wiggum: Where on my badge does it say anything about protecting people?
Lou: Uh, second word, Chief.
Wiggum: Thanks a lot, Princeton Pete.

Homer: They turned the Navy into a floating joke. They ruined all our best names like Bruce and Lance and Julian. Those were the toughest names we had! Now they're just...
John: Queer?
Homer: Yeah, and that's another thing! I resent you people using that
word. That's our word for making fun of you! We need it!

Mr. Burns: Woah, slow down there maestro. There's a *New* Mexico?

Moe: Hi, my name's Moe. Or as the ladies like to refer to me, 'hey you in the bushes.'

Homer: Okay, I'm never going to win Father Of The Year. In fact, I'm probably the last guy in the world to have kids... wait, let me rephrase that. I love my kids. I'd do anything for Bart and Lisa.
Judge: And Margaret?
Homer: Who? Lady, you must have the wrong file.
Marge: She's talking about Maggie.
Homer: Oh, Maggie. I've got nothing against Maggie.