EPA To Regulate Breathing, Says CO2 is Pollutant

The EPA believes it needs to begin regulating carbon dioxide emissions, which means that technically, it can regulate how many breaths a human takes.

The only logical step seems to be the banning of all exercise, which only makes people breathe more rapidly. We should really all just practice a very slow and steady breathing process all day long so as not to harm the environment.

By the way, is anyone else bothered by the fact that the EPA can do whatever it pleases in the name of the environment?