Simpsons Friday: Pondering Life

On the lighter side, I thought I would share a few Simpsons quotes on life this Friday morning:

Homer: How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?

Homer: Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals ... except the weasel.

Homer: Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

Moe: I'm better than dirt. Well, most kinds of dirt, not that fancy store-bought dirt... I can't compete with that stuff.

Homer: Lisa, Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.

Homer: You don't like your job, you don't strike. You go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.

Homer: Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.

Homer: Well crying isn't going to help. Now, you can sit there feeling sorry for yourself or you can eat can after can of dog food until your tears smell enough like dog food until your dog comes back, or you can go out there and find your dog.
Bart: You're right.
[Gets up and leaves]
Homer: Rats. I almost had him eating dog food.

Bart: I am through with working. Working is for chumps.
Homer: Son, I'm proud of you! I was twice your age when I figured that out.